jokke

Sign language

There was a construction worker on the 3rd floor of an unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him.
First he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then he pointed at his knees (meaning "need), and finally

Teacher: Where does God live..?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom..
Teacher: Why do you say that..?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the bathroom door and says, 'God, are you still in there..?'



 Class room jokes
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhi ji was born..
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old..


Teacher: Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student: A holiday....!!

Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun, Everyone must attend it..
Santa: No ma'm..! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why...?
Santa: My mother will not allow me to go so far....!!

Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs 3/kg.. Then, what is my age?
STUDENT: 32 yrs..
Teacher: How do you know?
STUDENT: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad..


  Love making elephant and the ant
This elephant was walking through the jungle one day when she got a thorn in her foot. The further she walked, the more sore it got. After a while she started to limp. After a while, this ant walks up and asks, “Hey, what’s the matter?” The elephant answers, “I’ve got this thorn in my foot and I would do anything to get it out.” The ant says, “Anything? Would you let me make love to you?” The elephant thought about it for a minute and decided what the heck. How bad could an ant be? So she agreed. The ant started pulling on the thorn and sure enough, he got it out. True to her word, the elephant laid down on her side and moved her tail out of the way. The ant crawled up and started loving on her. This monkey was up in a tree watching this. He couldn’t quite believe his eyes. He started laughing and rolling around in the tree. Then he knocked a coconut out of the tree that went down and hit the elephant right between the ears. The elephant moaned loudly from the hit,”Awwoooohhhhh!” The ant yelled at the top of his voice, “Take it all darling, take it all!!”

Why should you use candles?

Mr. Modon comes home one night, and his wife, Modina, throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, Modina, Mrs. Modon, receives a telephone call from DESA because the electricity bill has not been paid.
"Am I speaking to Mrs Modon?"- the guy from the other side of phone says.
"Yes...... speaking" - replies Modina.

The blind man and the restaurant!

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there."-said the blind man.

A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes, that's what I'll have -- meatloaf and mashed potatoes."

Unbelievable, the owner thinks